transitions.

Transitions are times that you see coming but can’t prepare for, and are inevitable.  I’m realizing this more and more as I continue to live life.  I “graduated” from college, and it seems like the apparent next step for me is to get married.  Four of my good friends are getting married this year, I’ve already seen 2 of my good friends get married.  But aside from marriage, apparently graduation from college launches you into the “real” world or I guess the career world.

I miss college already, but what’s mostly hard about it is I’m watching people around me and how they have made lifelong, deep friendships in college, and I thought I was going to have that, but I didn’t.  The friends I made were flaky and when a moment of transition hit our friendship they were gone.  There are some good friends I’ve made, and I may be friends with them for my lifetime, but it’s not like I’m able to have fun with them or spend time with them freely.  I don’t have anyone who I can just pick up the phone and call to talk about life, or to just be with.

Life is so bound by the career we choose or the location we’re in that it’s so hard to connect with people outside of that realm.  I feel like everyone is moving around me and I’m just still.  I mean, I’ve watched my friends get married, and I’ve legitimately never been on a date (Thanks Wheaton College).  But in a more serious sense, the friends I’ve made have been good and beneficial, but temporary and that’s hard for me who makes very intentional friends.  I will go out of my way to be there for people, and if we’re friends, there is intentionality to our friendship and meaning.

I wish there was a way that I could prepare for the feelings I’m feeling, or the transitions I’m dealing with, but there isn’t.  I think because I’ve been feeling a lot of transitions in such a short period of time, I’ve just felt like people are sweeping by me.  I miss consistency and steady relationships and people in my life.  (I also did just Skype one of my good friends last night and I realized how much I miss hanging out with him, so that could be where these thoughts are rooted in…).

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