summer.

Graduation was great.  It was a stepping stone for me to move on from my Wheaton life and step into my life as a Wheaton grad.  The only bad thing about Graduation was the rain.  Apparently 20min before the ceremony ended it started pouring rain outside.  As we were processing out, they led us into a circle in Edman and I was very confused.  We were being led straight into the library.

During commencement rehearsal in the campus library, they told us we were going to meet our “graduation partners” at the loading dock.  That instantly made me feel like a piece of meat being shipped off, and also made me think why does our library have a loading dock?  But anyways, at commencement, we were instead being shuffled back to the library, where we didn’t get wet, but instead we were forced into a building with 600 other people.  It was hot, gross, and I didn’t have a cell phone to call my family.

When I finally found someone I knew with a phone, I called my mom and this was the conversation:
Mom: “Hi, we’re going to get your sister.”
Me: “Mom, I’m not with Lisa.”
Mom: “O, you’re not?”
Me: “No.”
Mom: “Where are you then?”
Me: “At the Library.”
Mom: “Where’s the Library?” (As she says this I realize the person’s phone I’m using is getting a phone call)
Me: “It’s right next to the building we were just in. But I gotta go. Sorry.”

It was as if I was dying and my last conversation with my mother was absolutely pointless and didn’t get anywhere.  To say the least, post commencement was absolutely insane. We were all in the library, it was stinking hot, I couldn’t find anyone, and no one was leaving, and I couldn’t walk back to Edman where I came from.  On top of that, I didn’t know where my family was, and I didn’t have a way to contact them.  It was terrible.

Onward with the purpose of this post (I was just recently reflecting on that day…).  My summer.  Graduation makes me feel like I need to have a grown up solution to what I’m doing with my life now.  One of my students the other day, after I told them I’m graduating from college replied “O! what are you going to become?”  That question overwhelmed me not only because I felt like I all of a sudden needed to be something, but also I felt like I needed to know what I’m doing with my life.

In some ways I do know what I’m doing with my life.  I have a goal in mind- I’d like to eventually have an after school arts program, or some sort of private studio for inner city kids or special needs kids where I teach them music and give them a place to be, and a means to express themselves.  But how I’m going to get there, I don’t know.  I have interests- I think very deeply and I enjoy learning about how music affects the brain.  This has given me ideas of grad school (which I know eventually I will do).  I also enjoy people and understanding them, getting to know them, and figuring out how they work and think.  I’m more just trusting that God has a plan for me, and that I will be doing fulfilling work that enjoy and love.  In fact, I’m doing that right now, but I’d love to head up my own non-profit (which I have no experience with) or some sort of business involving the aforementioned students.

That being said, this summer will involve myself continuing to teach and loving on kids.  I love what I do right now, and despite my frustrations with working at a store and the fact that I could never work here forever, I love my students and I love watching them develop and grow as musicians and more importantly as kids.  The fall brings two more credits for me to finally, FINALLY, finish my degree at Wheaton College, and post fall semester brings adventures of hopefully getting out of the Wheaton area.  It’s exciting to finally be moving on in my life and not feeling like I’m stuck in a rut working on my degree.

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