extraction.

I was following a previous friend’s blog at one point in my life.  She was a very good friend of mine.  For some reason, I can no longer see the full entry, but she wrote a blog post 2 years ago, after I was having an incredibly rough time with my family and myself.  She titled it “Telephone Tears”.  I remember this conversation vividly because it was one of the most painful moments of my life.  I realized I was stuck.  I wanted something to be fixed, my family situation at the time, but I couldn’t fix it.  I realized that my friend couldn’t fix it either.  I felt helpless.  But the few words I read just now were a reminder to me of how beautiful my friendship was with her.  She said she wished she could give me a hug even though she could barely understand what I was saying through my tears.  But she couldn’t give me a hug. All she could do was just trust that God was holding me at the time.

She has since decided to “extract” me from her life (I needed to somehow relate this to the letter ‘e’!).  I miss her.  And I know she misses me.  But reading that limited blog post was a blessing in disguise because she wrote words of encouragement.  We weren’t physically with each other at the time, but she cared about me and she knew God was holding me in those moments.   Even though she has decided to stop talking to me, I still deeply, deeply, care about her and I trust that God is holding her in these moments of separation as well.  I can’t do anything to change her.  I can’t desperately try and contact her (even though I’ve tried and failed) and tell her about my life, even though there are so many things I’d love to tell her that she would understand better than anyone else in my life.  I’m stuck. I can’t do anything but trust. I hope and pray that God restores our friendship, but until then, there is a huge divide separating us.  A much larger divide than a telephone and distance.  This time it’s completely different, but I’m still trusting that God is holding her. God is a God of restoration and I’m so thankful for that. I’m resting in his peace and knowing that he is slowly restoring all things.

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